worst perhaps

i dont know why..
today i just feel like EMPTY.
or FLAT would be best to desribe how it feels..

at first, it became worst since gaining money for retreat is not that simple.
you know that i need to work very hard even it seems easy for them who only see it through their eyes..
you're not working on it dude..
3 million... you gotta do something for it!!!
bukan sekedar gw minta 3jt buat dp bis..
batalin aja retreat kalo lu ga punya duit 3jt...
copotin tuh banner2...

oh yeah!!
copot aja!!! KERJA APA SIH LU SELAMA INI!!
NGOMONG DOANK!!! BANTUIN AJA KGK.. MAKAN TUH DUIT!!!

MAU CARI TAU PACAR GW!!
CARI TUH PACAR GW SAMPE MATI..
KEPO BANGETH SIH JADI ORG!!
GA SUKA AJA LU LIAT TEMEN LU SENENG (kalo lu masih anggep temen, atau lu cuman manfaatin)...
PACAR PACAR GW.. KENAPA LU YANG HARUS MAU TAU.
PACAR PACAR GW.. KENAPA LU SELALU MIKIR ANEH2..

udh cukup gw pendem rasa kesel gw selama ini..
udh cukup gw berusaha sabar untuk tetep positive thinking...
udh cukup untuk gw menerima segalany..
sangat cukup buat gw nahan kata2 kasar bahkan gw pendem emosi itu sampe DI SINI...
DI HATI GW RASANY SAKIT BGT!!!

MAU LU APA SIH?
UANG UANG UANG!!
AMBIL TUH UANG!!
GW CARI ITU DANA!!!
TUGAS GW JALANIN DEH...
TP HARGAIN GW JG DONK..
JANGAN CUMAN BISA MINTA2...
KERJA! BANTUIN GW!
WELL THANKS FOR MAKING ME TOUGH..

gw akan buktiin ke lu..
Tuhan mau kerja atas gw, gw cari dana dan imma going to make it work..
for us!
thanks for tepiii...
i appreciate for what you've done..
thanks for always there when i really need someone to count on.

i know God, You'll give the best for me.
even if it seems rough..

well... its just passed by..
another scheme came...

about my best friend, fena..
i randomly told her not to smoke in front of my friends!!!
does she listen??
does she care?
why she always got mad of me when i never listened to her?
she never does the same things instead.

kenapa smua org tampak egois...
kenapa smua org susah bener ngertiin gw.
apa gw yg terlalu berlebihan minta diperhatiin?
apa gw yg kelewat egois sampe minta lebih dan lebih??

again, randomly reflect to myself..
i thought i've tried my best to be me..
i thought this is the best way to leave my past..

you know what,
you're righ.. its very difficult to forget my past..
im working on it...
i gotta go my own way..
walau itu menyakitkan banyak orang..
for sure, i know it is the best... for you, me and them.

cheer up...
if there isnt any problem come to my life, i wouldnt be me..
thanks guys to make tough
<3

you never listen

you always get upset when i never listen to you
hey, look up at you!!!!

do you ever listen??

rare..

its not my fault then..
do for yourself first
soon i'll follow..

i feel like alone

why they have to leave me alone??
too early to know it..
too early to feel it..

when they said dont go!!
i try not to go..
but i have to..
at least i postpone it till october...
but why they do it to me?
let me walk alone?
i need you all
having you as my friends and my sister was the best moment in my life

im NOT READY yet
oh come on..
COME BACK for me
for your CHURCH...
for your HOME...

NOTHING SPECIAL RATHER THAN STAYING IN YOU OWN HOME (your primitive church)

haloooo 13 march 2010

it has been a long time i didnt post anything.
until now i still havent got any idea what's best to be written..

well, sudenly remember the day when sulli turned to 18...

WELCOME TO THE 18TH CLUB DUDE!!

we have prepared several ideas to suprise him in his day..
the first idea was getting weird and it was not possible to be run.
finally, when the school week was over, we came out with an idea to come to his house and give him a little shocking surprise..
at first i could not join the event since i didnt have any driver. in fact, i could join after my mom allowed me.. :]

we gathered at steven's house first (as usual) then we went to sulli's house later on..
when we decided to go, we forgot that sung was coming to steven's house too.
we left him lonely.. fortunately, steven's driver took him to sulli's.
we waited steven for quite a long time.. he got to pick his two "wives" first.
at that time, felia just woke up from her sleep and havent got any shower.. *bau*

here is the story...
SULLIVANDY SUSANTO

we walked slowly to his room.. step by step we passed through every single room in his house.
we have prepared for the cake, the water (buat nyiram) and a klaxon (making loud noise to wake him up).
also the WONDERFUL CAMERA.

at the time we were at his room, somebody (i didnt know who) press the klaxon in which made sulli woke up by surpsire.
the first person he saw was YAHYA, if im not mistaken, he was at sulli's bed and doing something weird (jumping2).
i guess sulli hasnt realized what has happened and when he turned to his left, suddenly DWI poured the water into him..

yeah.. he was 80% awake..
we insisted him to blow the candle even he had not 100% awake.

yeah.. maybe the best way to feel the atmosphere is by joining us in every particular surprises for our lovely friends...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SULLIVANDY SUSANTO

welcome 07-03-2010

hallloo sunday..

lately, sunday and saturday became the hectic days for me....
yes! retreat!
yet, i wont regret for it.

this sunday was the second weekend in which we sell foods and beverages.
last week, we got 385.000 rupiah. pretty much for the starting.
and for me, i was shock that in the second day (today) we have already got around 2million rupiah.. :)

ohhhhh...
thanks a lot God..
GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME..
we gained those money from ngamen and selling foods...
yeah....

1 more thing i want to keep in my memory...
we have got the place to stay..
PUNCAK KANA....
its good, comfy and not that expensive..
at least we could minimize our budget..

today, i also presented the "Glow in the Dark" retreat in front of sidang jemaat...
it was funny, last night me, nila and fena worked to make the "essay" (what should i say).
however, when i went to the mimbar, i forgot all and spoke whatever in my mind.
thanks God its still touching and good as what people said to me...
then, me and the others sing "bagaikan bintang" for the worship.

could not wait for what is going to happen next week..
God helps us please..

TANGAN TUHAN SEDANG MERENDA

im very busy lately...
i need to work out with my up-coming retreat...
remember when i told you that i almost give up??


not for now!!!!!!!!!!

TANGAN TUHAN SEDANG MERENDA...

step by step, He gives his hand to help upon us..
He makes a way.
He leads us...

He send person by person to help us, to support us....

AMAZING!!!

I LOVE YOU EVENT MORE JESUS!!