im the leader!

i have been trying to be strong. i was trying not to cry in front of them. i tried not to give up that easily with those 'devils'.
now, its just a waste.
precisely, this morning i felt at the peak of the tiredness. i give up, really really give up..

seeing that stupid boy, who doesnt want to speak out with me, sitting nicely in front of me who was really panic and busy that time. he didnt want to help. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? LEADER? i guess you are not. saying your 'pembina' is not good for us? you are the one who lead us? ARE YOU SURE? you dont even lead me! I LEAD MY OWN WAY. YOU DONT EVEN CARE WHATS WRONG WITH ME. i believe you never think about me! you just care to the ones who SUPPORT THOSE STUPID THINGS YOU DO! hell yeah! YOU ARE PERFECT in a bad way..

and you think im scared of you???????????????????
NOT ANY MORE.. im grwoing up!!
im stronger than before. i stand in the right path. NOT LIKE YOU stupid!

satu hal yang gw bisa pastikan!
LU ADALAH MASALAH TERBESAR DALAM HAL INI. BUKAN KARNA TEMEN-TEMEN GW DAN PILIHAN GW UNTUK BERHURA-HURA. TP TOLONG DONG, HATI LU ITU KALO GA BUAT TUHAN, GA USAH DEH ADA DI SITU. GW UDH BERUSAHA UNTUK GA NGMNG KASAR MA LU. TP CUKUP TAU UNTUK HAL-HAL YANG LU UDAH LAKUIN KE GW. GA AKAN LAGI GW TAKUT MA LU. MUSUHIN GW. GO AHEAD. GW GA PEDULI. KALO GW BISA MUNDUR DARI RETREAT, DENGAN GAMPANG GW LEPAS DAN GW KASIH SMUA UANG YANG LU BUTUH. SEKALIAN KELEBIHAN UANG BUAT LU HURA-HURA SAMA TEMEN-TEMEN SEPERJUANGAN LU.

I PROMISE MYSELF FOR NOT BEING UNDER HIS CONTROL ANYMORE.

IM THE LEADER. YEAH I AM! YOU JUST A FOOL!