sudah selesai

now, i could smile!
those stuffs are done. no more load to carry..
thank you Jesus for Your help..
though i chose the wrong way, but i try to make all the things settle.
so when my time has came, they could continue what i have done.

so long PR Kharisma, so long GSRI-KB.
GBU

uncertainty

bukan kau yang memulai, bukan siapa pun.

mungkin hanya keinginanmu untuk mempertahankannya.

tapi kenapa jadi begini? ketika semua sudah di depan mata, 

bahkan di gengaman tangan.. 

tidak yakin & takut! hanya itu yang ada di pikiran. 

takut melangkah, takut kesenangan sementara, 

takut berujung di pemberhentian yang salah.

langkahmu terhenti, di tempat yang salah.

buat apa perjuanganmu selama ini? 

BUAT APA?

hanya takut mendapatkan jawaban yang mengecewakan.

untuk apa kalau kau selalu berpikir negative?

BUAT APA??!!!???

 kuatkan benteng pertahananmu!

jangan biarkan orang lain merobohkanny.

bukan kepada mereka yang menaruh hati padamu, 

atau orang-orang yang sebenarny tidak tau apa yang terjadi dengan kalian.

hanya kau yang tau, dan kau yang memimpin misi pengembaraan ini!

i just barely hate myself

tidak sehat kembali..

ada apa ya dengan saya? sebentar-bentar sakit.. tidak lama kemudian sehat.

kemarin malam, ketika bangun dari tidur, sy merasa semua berputar-putar; kepala saya beraattt, pemadangan blur.. oh gosh! when i tried to stand up, i fall down.. tersungkur di lantai.. sakit sekali rasany.. terbentur dengan ujung tempat tidur. saya putuskan untuk kembali berbaring dengan kerja keras saya meraih selimut. saya pikir hanya mimpi, saya pejamkan mata kembali.. ternyata tidak.. sakit sakit sakit.. satu badan menjadi sakit!

hari ini. saya merasa sehat, tidak ada apa-apa.. beraktifitas seperti biasa. malam hariny, rasa itu kambuh kembali.. setelah makan bersama steven dan rp, perut keram! tidak dapat ditahan. saya hanya berjalan tergopoh-gopoh, menekan perut saya yang sakit.. periihh sekalir rasany.. kalau 'tertekuk', rasany ingin berteriak sekencang mungkin.

oh shoes, i hate myself!! 

saya tidak bisa menahan rasa sakit, saya lemah, dan saya benci..

kenapa tidak bisa? im not a kid anymore.

hey im 18. kenapa saya tak bisa menghandle diri saya.

kenapa harus tak tertahankan air mata ini?

sakit ini tidak hilang kalau kau menangis stupidhead!

COME ON! BE TOUGH!

will you understand?

extremely happy

with you!

 
smiles when sadness intrudes


 

laughter to kiss your lips 

 




hugs when spirits sag 

 










love to complete your life 

untitled

fun fun fun..

why its fun?

FIRST: i watched this movie.

at first i thought this movie is gonna be so BOOOOORRRIIIINNNGGGG..
well, i was wrong.. it is AMAAZZIINNGG!!

p.s: i dont mind to watch it over and over again :)











SECOND: i got a light-bulb shirt

i bought it at Men's Stop.. yes yes, it is for a boy! since i was in love with it, just take the S size for me.. yyiiiipppiiiii...








 

happy birthday mami

24-07-2010

today was a really special day for me. and my family indeed.. yes yes. its my mommy's birthday.. quite sad for me as this would be my last birthday party with my whole family before im leaving. :( eits, there will be my brother's birthday, but i guess it wont be as sad as today.. precise at 12 o'clock i was reminded by someone that it was already my mommy's birthday.. so i ended up with our call and went directly to my parent's room. jumping to my mommy and shocked her.. saying happy birthday for many-many times and kissed her with no 'full-stop'. with my little family, we sang happy birthday for her and saying our wishes. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MAMI!!!

at the afternoon, i went to my mom's office as we gotta meet her boss and his family.. we had lunch in a chinese restaurant at jalan panjang. forgot the name, sort of bla bla dragon or whatever it is.. the taste was good and yummy whilst the place is not really cosy.. there, i met cie icha and his boyfriend i guess, ko james. they both leave at perth, study at curtin as well. since that, they would be my guardian. yeay. they both are very friendly and lovely. i like them from the first sight. we shared story, telling each other interest and talking about how's life at perth.. hearing from their story, im a bit excited going there.. i want it soon.. cuman sementara pasti, nanti juga gak mau lagi.. lol.. 

going home and slept from 'bright' to 'dark'. dari ada matahari sampe udh ada bulan. :p
after my father came, we went directly to hotel mulai. having a deluxe dinner at d'cafe.. yummy.. i love this moment a lot when all my family came together, having quality time and share story with laughter..i love you all!!

nate

like a kid wants chocolate

it feels safe. very safe. like the way a father protect his children. 

you won't feel any worry. everything flows very smooth. 

calm, peaceful and joyful.

i want this, like a kid wants chocolate. 

being addicted and overjoyed.

friends of mine

my third week of uni has just came and there were 2 people went away from jakarta. yesterday was the time when me and some others friends got to 'sent' natalia to her next study destination; san fransisco. the day before yesterday, arno has left to bali.. two best friends of mine. two best people i have ever known. 

now, the feeling is real. feeling of losing someone from your nearest place. the time goes so fast. it flies from minutes to hours to the days to the years. yeah, it has been 3 years we knew each other. and the best 2 years i could experince with you guys. now, everything changes, my part of family has been away. one goes to US, other goes to bali.. its getting difficult to meet you guys. friends who usually go with me; fill the hours everyday..  

yet, for the first time i couldnt stop thinking of you both. i could not imagine how arno gonna leave alone. with no parents, with no sister, and with no best friends. leaving alone in kos-kosan. i believe he could survive, i just miss the time when he laugh, he smiles, and saying weird words. though bali is quite near, the distance inhibit me to meet him so often. i never share anything to him, but he is still adoreable. there is something inside his figure that makes me kinda love it. why there isnt any news from you boy. i just wanna know hows you life going so far. GBU always my dear friend.

natalia, you makes me cry a lot.. just now, tuesday 20/07/2010, in time when i wrote this blog.. i do cry. crying because of you. it migh be my mistake. you are such a good friend for me. no matter i though about you, no matter what you have done in high school and everything. you are definitely a good girl. you are lovely. dulu waktu pertama masuk sekolah, lu satu-satuny anggota 'genk eksis' yang mau nyapa dan main bareng dengan gw, si anak baru. and i was so amazed that time. you talked a lot and it made me feel confidence to know you more and more. there were many memories that stick in my head. like the time when we made a photography team. going around scbd to take photos and being scolded by the security. i miss you girl. i miss everything about you.. i wish i could hug you for minutes just now. i apologized for everything that i've done which made you feel 'sick' of me. i love you girl! wishing you all the good fortune there. take care of yourself. promise me that one day, you are going back to jakarta. meet me, play with me and having holiday together. do not ever lose contact with me. keep in touch darling. love you so much!

memories that never fade

good luck arno

 take care natalia :D

special monday

last night i couldnt sleep.. i was awake until 4 o'clock.. nyeehh.. nothing to do, but py bbm-ing me with a weird content; only T letter. i decided no to open it otherwise it would be continued. :) well well well, old habit arose that night.. too many thoughts.. too many loads to carry.. i just thought about random things and at last i felt tired and fall asleep..

tik tok tik tok

6.00 a.m.

aahhh. too early.. i decided to sleep again..

tik tok tik tok

7.15 a.m.  

one more hour to sleep.. pulled the blanket and put the earphone on.. success (Y)

tik tok tik tok

7.30 a.m.

oh gosh, i was awake again.. couldnt have any good night sleep.. :s and now, i realized my stomach had a little problem.. 

tik tok tik tok

8.10 a.m.

my dad brought us to the breakfast though he was late to join the seminar. thank you papiiii... i felt so freakin tired.. however, every jokes my dad told us make me laughed.. i love this moment where we could be so close. it didnt take a long time, he had to leave, joing the seminar.. only me, my mom and vitro left. they both still eat while me have stopped.

tik tok tik tok

fast forward

i was home and decided to sleep.. suddenly sulli bbm-ing me and asked to join him, steven and rp to go to the pameran komputer at JHCC.. before we arrived there, we were going to PP (again) to have lunch.. only sulli and steven actually.. JHCC was so crowded.. over populated.. thanks God im not lost there.. it reminds me pretty well about the time when me and my family usually go to the pameran-pameran.. my dad used to protect me and my mom from those 'unknown' people. though i went there with my friends, i still feel the same way.. thank you.. :) you appeared just like my father. last thing to remember, steven, sulli and rp came to my house and met my father, talking about the car.. GTI vs CooperS.. 

vitro septrian budijuwono

congratulation you have passed junior high school and welcome to high school.

a higher step of education. 

i wish you good luck (forever).

i hate farewell

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn't work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos.

agnes

eeerrrggg... im DYING of her..

does this count as annoying?

 now make them drink the milk

 fluffeeehhhhhh

 unicorn 

*she's so freakin cute*

light bulb

i called this light bulb..

we are riding our adventures.

its just begin and we are settle.

ready for everything,

utill the time comes perfectly.

into the 'super high'.

leep

LOL-ing

17 menues for only 4 people

helooo.. hari ini rabu.. tandanya saya pulang jam 12 dari kampus.. waktuny untuk bersenang-senang setelah lama terkurung di rumah.. sayang sekali semua teman-teman saya tidak bisa.. sedikit aneh sih rasany, kalau saya tidak bisa pergi, semua orang nampak dengan mudanya keluar rumah.. giliran saya bisa, semua tampak malas-malasan.. ada apa sih sebenernya semua ini? mulai berpikir negatif sejujurnya.
at last, i have praisca, rp and steven with me.. me and praisca, after finished class and waited pak epon for such a short time, went to steven's house. waiting for rp to come.. steven's mom is so nice. she offered the girls a cake; jajanan pasar actually.. after rp came we went to sun city, a place that i have wondered lately.. akhirnya saya tahu juga tempat itu.. it should be closed by that time, almost 3 o'clock.. since rp's father has connection with the one who work in sun city, they opened up the restaurant.. we odered 17 menues. all dim sum things.. betapa banyakanya semua makanan itu untuk kami yang hanya 4 orang.. 4 orang & 17 porsi!! though, im happy to the max.. all the foods taste good.. we ended up today's moment with watching despicable me at PI XXI.. that movie is so funny and loveable.. i like the yellow characters and agnes, the third kid..
thanks guys for today. <3 <3 cant wait for the next turn..

saya sehat

saya sehat. sebuah pertanyaan atau sebuah pernyataan? sebelum retreat kemaren diadakan, saya sendiri sudah merasa tidak enak badan.. something wrong with me.. tapi saya pikir tidak usah diperhatikan lah, anggap saja saya sehat.. saya kan jagoan neon.. retreat ternyata memang melelahkan, membuat saya susah dan tidak nafsu makan. kerja keras, masalah, sibuk, naik-turun puncak, kurang tidur & angin malam membuat kekebalan tubuh saya semakin payah.. ah saya masih kuat! paling tidak saya harus bertahan sampai retreat ini selesai.. ya saya harus!! hari di mana kami kembali ke jakarta, jalanan begitu macet.. tidak jalan! 8 jam dalam bis. 5 jaman kami harus stuck sebelum taman safari.. saya harus mencari makanan. bukan buat saya. buat teman-teman; anak-anak daerah yang sudah kelaparan.. yaahhh. tidak ada restaurant untuk kami singgah.. hanya ada warung-warung.. tidak ada pilihan, kami memang harus ke situ.. sebelumnya saya harus survey. apa tempatny cukup? apa makananny layak? turun lah saya dari bis, tanpa jaket, hanya pakai kaos.. angin begitu kencang.. saya menggigil.. tidak bisa berdiri tegak, pandangan saya kabur, mungkin kalau tidak ada teman dekat saya, atau mungkin kalau saya tidak memaksa diri, saya sudah terkapar di jalan raya.. waktuny makan.. tetap saja walau sudah dipaksa makan oleh micky, nasi goreng itu rasany tidak enak.. menusuk-nusuk usus dan lambung.. rasanya aneh.. sy hanya mengambil satu roti. roti merek bogor.. keras dan rasany aneh.. setidakny mengganjal perut saya sampai tiba di gereja untuk makan malam. makanan lezat dari Ibu Pono.. tidur pun susah di bis.. belum juga istirahat.. sampai di gereja, tidak sempat makan lagi.. sudah harus pulang. ada yang menunggu di mobil.. aaahhh.. semalaman perut kosong.. esok harinya, harus bangun pagi.. berangkat di gereja dan mendapat sarapan nasi goreng.. tidak mungkin rasanya saya menelan nasi itu. kembali tidak makan.. sampai ibadah kelar, saya hanya mengkonsumsi mie ayam abang-abang.. kembali mengurus anak-anak daerah beserta semua laporan keuangan.. tidak ada makanan yang masuk lagi ke perut saya.. setelah saya pulang dari Pasicif Place, saya merasa semakin tidak enak badan.. pusing, mual, panas.. saya tidur.. tidur-tiduran.. ternyata demam.. menggigil.. dan saya rasa malam itu saya tidak makan kembali.. tidak bisa mengingat apa yang saya makan sampai sekarang. itukah tandanya saya tidak makan? well, forget it.. hari senin rasany tidak kuat untuk kuliah.. tp saya harus. baru hari kedua masa sudah absen.. saya paksa dan membuat semakin lemah badan inii.. akhirnya saya hanya bisa tidurr.. tiduurr.. dan tiduuurr..

human's basic desire

Tuhan Yesus Baik

Tiada berkesudahan kasih setia-Mu Tuhan
Slalu baru rahmat-Mu bagiku
Hari berganti hari tetap ku lihat kasih-Mu
Tak pernah berakhir di hidupku




Tuhan Yesus baik, sungguh amat baik
Untuk selama-lamanya Tuhan Yesus baik
Tuhan Yesus baik, sungguh amat baik
Untuk selama-lamanya, Tuhan Yesus baik


Yesus baik bagimu, Yesus baik bagiku
Dulu skrang dan selamanya Dia sungguh baik
Dari selama-lamanya, sampai selama-lamanya
Untuk selama-lamanya, Tuhan Yesus baik

our quote

mibt i life

just came back from quite a long break..

well, for the past few days i forgot what do i have to write here.. all i know and remember is KAMPUS.. getting so hard to learn every subject.. thank you God, the friends become more and more friendly.. yeah except for some people who seems very annoying and sok berkuasa.. my two new closest friends, lia and betari always be with me and py all day long. they are nice whilst not as good as the tm students.. apparently we are going to help each other for the next 4 months.. GENK 4 BULAN as we claimed ourselves. hmmm, talking about the teachers: mr. kevin is nice & the way he teaches us is like mr.greg, ms. sia talks very fast with indian accent & always asks many questions regarding the topic, mr. dave seems like mr.philp & the way he teaches us fit into me (using diagram), last but not least ms. komal, she is young, energic and she knows how to communicate with the young students..

i thank you Lord

it went well.. so well!
the spirit of God.. uncomparable one!
i could not imagine it. never actually!

3 days of heaven.
3 days of wonderland.
3 days of renewal.
3 days of happiness.
3 days of hard work.
3 days of sacrifice.
3 days of God's miracle.


i thank you Lord for everything. for Your accompaniment. You made it perfect as we never imagined it. 113 people gathered together, praise and worship You. never been tired for everything we have been through. knowing each other and YOU for sure, deeper and deeper. INTO THE LIGHT OF DARKNESS. Glow in the Dark!!

all the weary was replaced with the joy You've given me. all the hard work was replaced with their smile. all the worry was replaced with Your grace. all the problems was solved thorugh Your hands.
i thank you people who helped me. especially for STEPHANUS ADI SURYO who never felt tired with me. who always backe me up, who always cheer me up, who always be there for me. well, pardon me in case i disappointed you, made you felt give up and tired. all that you did will stuck in my mind and never be forgotten. 

ton and ton problems

second day of uni!

first impression: what deeeee.. the class is full with fdk people (people who act like fdk; often say bad words and very very rude). pusing pusing pusing. i went to MIBi pretty late, it was already 5 minutes past 12 and i still packed up at my room. suddenly, py said she got stuck on the road. i was nervous that i'll experince the same condition.. thanks God it wasnt. nevertheless, praisca would be so late and i was alone there before lia and ping-ping (actually her realy name was betari, not betani as i have mentioned before) came. i wanted py so bad that time. i could not stand with those new students. as the class started with a simpel game, praisca came and sit beside me.. 

today's teacher was Ms. Sia, she was indian. speaks so fast with her unique accent.. quite difficult for me to understand every words she said, and since she spoke so fast, i had difficulty to make a note. IM LOST. after 30 minutes break, we got a question and answer section. it was hard! first, i did not understand each term she explaied. second, she spoke so fast which made me loss some notes. third, i did not have any basic knowledge.. heyaaaaa.... be greatful i could answer the question she given to me. well, i was not sure with it but she said perfect! lol.. success! the class ended about 1 hour earlier than it should be. 

i was planning to go out with py first. TA perhaps. ever since rp bbm me and talked about sulli's things, the one we talked about thought that i really got angry of him. so that he bbm me and asked some sorry twice. so funny.. they asked me to watch movie and i said can not. i drop py at TA and she should thank me as she met andhika yahya at starbucks and had a chance to have fun in foodpark together with the others.. jelous! i want it! 

buying some present for the priest and anak-anak daerah with ertana, nila and fena. also had dinner together. :]

i really love them.. more than ever.. even we had to face ton and ton of problems, well this is us! stand in the rock surface and holding each others's hand.. H-2 before retreat.. my rehearsal run well, and i thank God for it!

you'll miss the boys

SULLIVANDY SUSANTO

i miss him when

*he picks me up & drove me home

*he helps me with the assignments

*he always be patient when i got angry

*he tries so hard to cheer me up

*he tells joke

*he ignores me

*he talks less

*i could share everything to him

*i could not talk to him

RYAN PRIYATNA

i miss him when

*he could be someone to share

*he fetch & drop me home

*he asks me to go with him

*he persude me in every step i'll take

*he never stop laugh with me

*he always there for me

*i can contact him easily

*we do stupid things

 KEVIN SUNGKARTO

 i miss him when 

*he always taking care of me

*he plays with me

*he helps me with my stupid laptop

*he tickles me

*he does stupid things 

*he treats me as a sister

*he waits for me until my brother comes

*i could call him KOKO

*i could lay down to him

ANDHIKA YAHYA

i miss him when

*he prented as a cool man

*he is able to answer every questions

*he could be someone to share

*he tells joke

*he treats a girl perfectly

*he open the car's door for me

*i could tempt him with py. lol.

STEVEN HADISURYA

i miss him when

*he asked me to hang out

*he helps me with the gadget things

*he gives his essay to me

*he lets me come to his house

*he offeres me many foods

*he calls me CIL

*i could beat him

*he is so nice

ARNO WISNU W

i miss him when

*he SMILES

*he reacts spontaneously

*he says werido words

*he jokes

*he looks very handsome

 ANDHIKA DWI W

i miss him when
*he is annoying
*he tells joke
*he listens to my anger
*he support me
*he acts awkward
*he cares

FRANS WIJAYA

 i miss him when
*he tells JOKE
*he speaks spontaneously
*he flirts.. lol
*i could sit beside him in mr.connor's class
*he makes a lively atmosphere
*he speaks i-dish

ALBERT WIDJAJA

i miss him when
*he is being my guidance
*he listens to my complaint
*he encourages me
*he makes me tougher
*he akses me some consideration

SEBASTIAN PM

i miss him when
*he teaches me maths
*he treats me well
*we could play stupid things with him
*he invites us to JOGLO
*he be a wise person

FERY GUNAWAN

i miss him when
*he tells joke
*he interfere the others