1 month 16 days to go.
in a blink of eyes, i'll be in perth, australia.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
blink and blink
tomorrow is september already.
1 month 16 days to go.
in a blink of eyes, i'll be in perth, australia.
1 month 16 days to go.
in a blink of eyes, i'll be in perth, australia.
Monday, August 30, 2010
we'll be a dream
Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love
When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love
When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream
Do you remember the nights
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being
Someone big
We were so young then
We were too crazy
In love
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being
Someone big
We were so young then
We were too crazy
In love
Saturday, August 28, 2010
3 teman untuk selamanya
helooo..
here im back from a long stressful journey..
kebanyakan tugas sampai tidak sempat bersenang-senang, apalg menulis di blog..
hari ini rasany juga sangat malas untuk menulis, tapi ga mau ngelupain akhir pekan yang WOW.. setelah merencanakan nonton marathon sama py beberapa hari lalu. akhirny terwujud jugaa bersama py & vidya, nonton 2 film sehari; grown ups - a very-very funny movie & recommended to be watched dan asylum - thriller movie.. sebelum nonton film ke dua (asylum), mereka nemenin gw belanja, nyari blazer, sendal dan sepatu.. muter2 semua toko, masuk keluar.. bener-bener bergaya orang kaya. dengan sangat tidak jelasny, kita ke hero, mau beli makanan aneh-aneh, but we ended up with aqua only.. karena mau beli kebab dan old chang kee..
3 teman untuk selamanya!!!
Monday, August 23, 2010
waiting for something worth
i thought you are too worth to be waited.
so i'll keep on waiting till someone say enough.
lets ride the adventure.
Friday, August 20, 2010
You'll know why at the end.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.
By Stephanie Halmilton
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.
By Stephanie Halmilton
recommended by: anton muljo
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
a world without you
mayday mayday, the captain is back..
thanks for my friends, especially PY and RP.
it has been a rough two weeks and you both always there for me.
being so patient listening to my complaints and my anger.
cheering me up when the tears could be handled anymore.
accompanying me all night long, just to make me smile.
i know i was so annoying lately and its kinda distrubing..
couldnt imagine how a world withou you..
i am 'crumbly' and 'overthought'.
i keep on think negatively and i guess you guys are pretty much give up on me.
thanks for every single time you have given to me.
thanks for the opportunity to become a part of your friendship life.
mood swing makes you difficult to 'reach' me and pardon me for it.
well, the time is limited right now.
i dont want to waste it. really i dont.
please dont give up on me. i need someone to lean on.
someone who is really patience and humble.
and i found it out on you.
xoxo
thanks for my friends, especially PY and RP.
it has been a rough two weeks and you both always there for me.
being so patient listening to my complaints and my anger.
cheering me up when the tears could be handled anymore.
accompanying me all night long, just to make me smile.
i know i was so annoying lately and its kinda distrubing..
couldnt imagine how a world withou you..
i am 'crumbly' and 'overthought'.
i keep on think negatively and i guess you guys are pretty much give up on me.
thanks for every single time you have given to me.
thanks for the opportunity to become a part of your friendship life.
mood swing makes you difficult to 'reach' me and pardon me for it.
well, the time is limited right now.
i dont want to waste it. really i dont.
please dont give up on me. i need someone to lean on.
someone who is really patience and humble.
and i found it out on you.
xoxo
Thursday, August 12, 2010
north to south
hey there.. you've been asking for a long post right? so here it is..
it passed through my mind when i had shower this evening..
i didnt realize that 3 years ago, i met you from a spontaneous joke.
you were not in my class, never chat before and never thought to be this close.
i could not remember when exactly we started to share anything..
all i know, and i prefer to know, you are really kind to me..
you are always be there for me, no matter what time it was, where were you, and what did you up to..
when i was sad and could not think for the best step i should take, you are trying to cheer me up and never let me fall. remember the time when i just went back from europe. i couldnt sleep because of jetleg. you were suddenly woken up and accompany me until the sun rised. i know and really know you were sleepy that time, but you pretend no to be. thank you :]
every time we plan to go out and i have no one to fetch me, you offer me a ride. well, you do it all the time actually.. even when i got bored with no reason, you came to my house, asking for a hang out with no plan.. remember? the time when we used to go out directly? "tal, lagi di mana? bosen nih.. pergi yuk" those words sound perfectly on my ears.. or saturday morning, we both were on line at msn, then typing "eh tumben udah bangun. hari ini kmn?" and i just said "pergi lagi kan kita".. ahahaha.. wtih no further disccusion, we both signed off and took shower. in less than an hour, you were already in front of my house with your jazz.. going somewhere we did not know.. *ewww, miss that time*
and now, when i really really fall.. i have been overthought and worrying all the things. you are here. right in front of me *not exactly though*. each night when i used to cry, you always cheer me up with your silly words or you just let me cry so that i could release my stress. when i start to muse (ngelamun), you distract my concentration in order not to let me cry over and over. thank you!!
it is a honour for being your very very best friends or even as your sister *i hope so*.. i wont let you feel sad. if i ever, please forgive me, i dont mean it.. yet when i go, do not ever change. i just like the way you are..
it passed through my mind when i had shower this evening..
i didnt realize that 3 years ago, i met you from a spontaneous joke.
you were not in my class, never chat before and never thought to be this close.
i could not remember when exactly we started to share anything..
all i know, and i prefer to know, you are really kind to me..
you are always be there for me, no matter what time it was, where were you, and what did you up to..
when i was sad and could not think for the best step i should take, you are trying to cheer me up and never let me fall. remember the time when i just went back from europe. i couldnt sleep because of jetleg. you were suddenly woken up and accompany me until the sun rised. i know and really know you were sleepy that time, but you pretend no to be. thank you :]
and now, when i really really fall.. i have been overthought and worrying all the things. you are here. right in front of me *not exactly though*. each night when i used to cry, you always cheer me up with your silly words or you just let me cry so that i could release my stress. when i start to muse (ngelamun), you distract my concentration in order not to let me cry over and over. thank you!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
wrong time
i dont mind you are stepping back from me honestly..
just not now! august rush..
really need someone to talk.. really i do.
and its just you who could realease my stress. dont you know?
just not now! august rush..
really need someone to talk.. really i do.
and its just you who could realease my stress. dont you know?
yes i am
do time and distance matter?
NOT for me.
it grows deeper and stronger.
whatever people say to us, i know myself better. so do you.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
like a baby does
when the morning comes,
the eyes are difficult to be opened.
extremely heavy to wake up.
hardly believe there will be another defiances to be faced.
all i want is sleeping like a baby
Monday, August 2, 2010
day by day
day by day
dear Lord of thee three things i pray
to see thee more clearly
love thee more dearly
follow thee more nearly
day by day
thanks be to thee, Lord Jesus
for all the benefits which thou hast won for us
for all the pains and in sults which thou hast borne for us
o merciful redeemer friends and brother
saddest sunday
hello my lovely blog. havent touched you for several days..
today is the first of august 2010; means i only got 3 months left!
desperately sad of it..
desperately sad of it..
im not ready and each time i remember day-to-day imma pass by,
im affraid..
so scared when i feel happy.
cause all the good things come to end..
and i dont want it to be happened.
it is diffcult to close my eyes when the night has come. im scare not to be alive tomorrow, scare of loosing my current happines, scare of loosing you.
as the sun rises, they change, happiness is about to fade. i love the way they touch me, i love the way they make me laugh, i love the warmth of sun shine, i love the fresh air, i love the traffic jam, i love your care, i love each time we've been through. I ADORE PERFECTION!
i hate overthought, the way i was shaped. hell yeah..
im an overthough person.
i think a lot and do nothing. the most patetic side is i cant help myself!!
who could handle me? im looking for you! come save me.
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